Memory gets worse later in the day
Dad seems to be settled in a stable pattern of memory during the day time. Not that he remembers much, but he knows where he is and why. As the day progresses, however, it deteriorates. I’m learning not to tell him of future plans, for instance, we’re going to the grocery store after lunch… because he will dwell on that and worry on it - he doesn’t want to be late, or miss the trip I guess.
We hadn’t had an “I lost my keys” episode for quite a while until last night. He got up 2 hours after going for bed and was rummaging in his dresser drawers. When I told him where his keys were, brought them to him and showed them to him, he said “Not those keys” - I hung them back up and he came into the kitchen to examine them again. He dropped them - hung them back up, and wanted a drink. He got his drink and went to bed, keys forgotten. He didn’t even get up until 5 am!
Today I’ m taking him to Mom’s for 5 days while I go to see my husband. I haven’t told him yet, or packed his bag. We’ll do it just before it’s time to go. I’m learning!!
Filed under Memory, Daily Life | Comment (0)Is anyone else coming?
Dad stayed Saturday and Sunday at his house with Mom. I picked him up Sunday afternoon and brought him ‘home’, except it’s not home yet to him (again). Sometimes I wonder if the time ‘off’ is worth the days of reorientation when he comes back.
Mom isn’t feeling well, has bloodwork today, and is in some pain in her back and hip. I convinced her to take an Aleve. She didn’t think she should tke anything with her other medications. I guess her pain made her grumpy as she called Dad “dummy’ when she asked him to go into HER bedroom (where he never goes) and get her the telephone. I guess he couldn’t find it. Not sure why she didn’t just have him give her the phone that is on the wall where they were with a long cord attached to it. She could have pointed to it.
Now that he’s back here, he has been acting like a guest rather than someone who has lived here for over 2 years. A common question is “Is anyone else coming” - I don’t know to whom he is referring, but the answer is nearly always ‘no’. He asked where Jim was, wanted to know where the other dog was (dead for 6 years). He wanted to repack his bag last night for when he went home. It’s going to be a constant explaining and discussing the going home thing today. Then, too, he could take a nap, wake up, and everything be like it was. I told him Mom wasn’t feeling well, had some tests at the hospital and he said “She needs someone to help take care of her too” …meaning him.
Sounds petty, I know. It isn’t unless you’re living the constant repetition coupled with the pity you feel because he can’t be where he wants to be.
I had lunch with a girl that I grew up on the block with. Her dad is a retired police officer, a little younger than Daddy. She told me he said that “Max is a great guy, you won’t find anyone that doesn’t or didn’t like him.” Made me feel real proud of him and I’m glad she shared it with me.
Filed under Family, Daily Life | Comment (0)Happy 89th Birthday
Although Dad never believes me when I tell him how old he is - today (Jan. 1 2009) is his 89th birthday. I don’t have anything big planned for him. I had thought we would go out to eat with my mother (his wife) - but she said “Just do whatever don’t worry about me.” To give her credit she did send a card for him. I really think, even though he won’t remember it tomorrow, or maybe even an hour later - we should still treat the day like we always did with cake, candles, and gifts.
I bought a can of oysters yesterday and I’m going to fix him oyster stew for his birthday dinner followed up by his favorite coconut cake. He told me yesterday he didn’t like oyster stew - but I know he does, it was a favorite at the church soup suppers for over 50 years.
He was cute and cutting up and joking when I went to pick him up yesterday. Mom told me that she had done up all his laundry. He told me she had made him sit around naked while she did it. He settled back into the routine here after a little bit of confusion after being gone for 10 days while I spent Christmas with my husband. He did ask where ‘the old man’ was (Jim). Of course everything is minute by minute - something could trigger a change at anytime.
I’ve made a resolution to try to find more things to keep him occupied. It’s a real challenge as his motor skills are poor, his eyesight is poor, and of course the ability to do a series of actions is limited. He does NEED chores or jobs that he doesn’t resent - and a feeling of usefulness, as well as something to keep him from being so bored! These will have to be chores he can succeed in, as being unable to do them create frustration. I’ve really had my thinking cap turned on high for this one. When he was in the nursing home, the aides would give some of the ladies there baskets of wash cloths to fold. They would sit and fold them over and over again. I’d really like to find something a little more ‘real’ than that.
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